Write On

The whole Hollywood writing and pitching process confuddles the hell out of me.

Because writing is not a very tangible skill and depends on a variety of things coming together--things like luck, timing, inspiration, motivation et. al.-- it's one of the toughest jobs in the industry that often receives the least amount of recognition. And there's also the romantic misconception of everyone in Los Angeles thinking they can take a shot at putting words to paper and striking it rich with a sold screenplay. Just take a look at the nearest Coffee Bean stocked full of artsy spectacles hunched over silver Macbook Pros.

As someone who has had the fortune of seeing my words play out on stage, I can say that it can definitely be worth suffering through months- possibly years- of poverty, frustrating writer's block, and mind-blowingly scathing critiques to watch audience members react to your vision, your story. It's an indescribable feeling - good or bad.

But no matter what, the key element of making it as a writer-at least in Hollywood- is to have someone take a chance on you.

That someone can be a Hollywood hotshot or a newbie intern, personal friend or stranger off the street. But if they know someone or are someone themselves, they can make things happen. They can lift your words off the page and onto a screen or stage. They can bring your vision to life.

How do you get them to raise you out of said Coffee Bean and onto a red carpet?

Well, first, write something.

Then, you suck it up and ask them to read your work.

However, one person I wouldn't dare ask to read my stuff is this guy...

A History of Violence penner Josh Olson may look all smiles and jellybeans here but you and your script better stay far far away from him.

The Oscar-nominated screenwriter repeatedly proclaimed to a recent Village Voice the annoyances of having people approach him with their works hoping to get his professional opinion on it. Olson retells the story of one particularly horrifying incidence through which an awful script dared pass through his oh-so-professional eye-line.

Though at times his reasons for not touching the scripts are valid, like how he has stacks of scripts by his bedside from agents and personal friends to finish and how sometimes people are really unappreciative and can't take criticism, I dare say he is a bit brutal into going on and on AND ON about how this amateur writer produced a terrible piece of trash and wasted a year of his life working on something that should have never seen the light of day. Can you say ouch?

I've always been terrified to have other people read my work (ironic, eh, Media Maid readers?) and Olson's piece only heightened my fears. But Olson-that cocky son of a gun-is right. He says:

If someone can talk you out of being a writer, you're not a writer. If I can talk you out of being a writer, I've done you a favor, because now you'll be free to pursue your real talent, whatever that may be.

You're a writer if nothing else can nourish your soul. You're a writer if writing makes your life move forward, makes your world go round, makes you feel alive, makes you feel like you're contributing to society. You're a writer if you have a story to tell and only you can tell it.

I sure fit most of those criteria.

I guess I'm a writer.

{ Deadline Hollywood }