Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist

The world is in shambles.  Left and right, my friends and acquaintances are getting laid off.  I can hardly find an internship, let alone a job. (Well, that's not true, I just turned one down last week.) Everything in stores are always on sale-which should be a good thing-until I realize why they are on sale in the first place and why I would be better off not buying it.

My favorite TV shows are also not doing very well.  Ugly Betty just got pulled from the schedule so the network can try out a couple new shows.  Nothing good is ever on the tube.  If I see that annoying Lisa Rinna asking inane questions like, "how does it feel to play a vampire on TV" and have the guest she's interviewing reply, "I don't play one" again, I swear I will throw the remote at the screen.  

I seek solace in my Google Reader, where I can peruse some carefully hand-selected blogs from the vast Internet world but even then, things look dismal.  Bloggers left and right are writing about all the lay-offs and closings, shut-downs and non-employment rates.  Even pretty pictures can't replace the iron-hard words that jobs pickings are getting slimmer and slimmer.

Despite knowing all of this. Despite understanding that I need to be doing something to prevent a future of unemployment, instead of working on my internship applications, job applications, visiting the career center, or even attending networking functions, I keep trying to find an illegal copy of Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist to watch on-line.  

I know...what is wrong with me???!!  It's not even a classic, nor a masterpiece, nor a huge blockbuster.  It's just a simple love story starring two fairly ordinary-looking young adults playing ordinary high schoolers.  

Yet somehow, I can't seem to get it off my mind. I want to watch that movie so badly.

They say movies are a form of escape and if so, then I am running away in the worst way.  I keep trying to find places where I know the lovers will end up together, where I can seek solace that normal people will reach happiness and where I don't have to think about my impending future.

My mom tells me the older I'm getting, it seems the less responsible I've become. I've given up my car, I don't have a job, I keep doing things like improv comedy and making up stories in my head.  And she's right. I've retreated, and I don't like it ONE BIT.

The old responsible, motivated Janice came back a little a couple of days ago when I was spontaneously assigned to interview Dat Phan, a famous Vietnamese-American comedian.  The Janice who had her act together, who sought out opportunities and sniffed out good things to report.  Let's hope-no, let's make sure-she makes more of an appearance in the future.  

I know I can be whatever I want to be as long as I work on getting there.  I pray that He will instill that will and longing back into my heart again.

So the TV is my friend. 

So I base my life around "What Would Betty Do?" I take the occasional advice from Liz Lemon as well.

So I spend far too much time on Youtube looking up Wang Lee Hom videos and too much time on IMDB checking out the latest up and coming actors.

All has not been in the vain because the sweats of those efforts will be put forth into... this blog!  

It's kind of a hard concept to explain but I'm hoping the future posts will give shape to what this blog will be about.

And if it still doesn't make sense, just consider it random Janice ramble. =)