I'm in a Pageant

A casual visit with some old friends yesterday culminated into a lot of embarrassing revelations on my behalf. It started with my friend bribing me to show him my old Chinese commercials (he said he would turn them into a reel).

Oh yeah, I used to do old Chinese commercials. I got recognized the other day too. Don't mess.

And that led to other topics of conversation, which eventually led me to muttering under my breathe, "oh yeah, I'm also a contestant for the 2010 Miss LA Chinatown."

My friend stares quizzically at me. "Why do you sound so embarrassed? Good for you! You should be proud of all of this. You have to embrace it," he instructs me.

I thought about it. Yeah, I should embrace it. Yeah!

I'm usually a big braggart in every other aspect of my life. "Look at me! I did this! Look at me! I hung out with him! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!" but one area where I'm generally a lot more guarded is the commercial and beauty pageant stuff I have done in the past. I'm not sure why. Maybe because the commercials are quite cheesy and I have bad acting galore and a fat face in most of them? And as for the pageants, maybe it's because they have a rap for being superficial and shallow and catty and old-fashioned and even though I know firsthand that THAT IS NOT TRUE, some part of me don't want to tell people because I'm afraid they'll judge me for it?

But the thing is, the reality is, they are a part of my life. I have done Chinese commercials, I have done pageants and I will probably be doing more of them in my life. I'm doing a pageant on February 6. It's the 2010 Miss LA Chinatown pageant. And I'm proud of it! Yeah!

I really am, though. This is the first pageant that I willingly signed up for, the first one where my mom didn't say, "Surprise, I signed you up for a pageant!" or dragged me through concrete and asphalt and grass and dirt to join.

We've been rehearsing almost every Saturday from 1 - 6. That chunk of time cost me many a missed dates, friends hangouts and even a holiday job but I am learning so much each week. You think pageant girls just strut around onstage and smile wide? Think again.

There's dancing: we're learning this really pretty fan-ribbon dance which is REALLY grueling and gives me cuts and bruises and injured ankles. We have to dance as though we are butterflies (yeah, you heard me, I said, "butterflies.") and because I am neither graceful nor cute nor do I flitter and flutter, this dance helps me out in that area.

There's walking: Walking is an innocuous act we often take for granted. But it is highly important to making an impression. Think back to a time where you were at a party and this lady walks into the room. More like glides. Upon closer inspection, she's no Helen of Troy nor is she sporting a dress made out of bubbles but she just has that presence that makes you take notice. There's a buzz about her. It's most likely her walk, the way she moves, the way she stands. And that presence is what we're trying to develop every Saturday.

There's talking: This is the portion I think I'm most nervous about. I'm a chatty gal but more of the bumbly, crazy hand-gesturing variety. For the question and answer portion of pageant night, we're going to try to be poised, calm, collected while answering questions like, "what do you think is the cause of the California real estate downfall?" Hope hope hope I don't pull a Miss South Carolina Teen USA.

There's more: There's etiquette, how to smile, how to get along with other people, how to dress yourself, how to muti-task, how to become a more important figure in your community, all very vital skills to becoming a better person. I'm blessed for this opportunity to practice and hone in on those skills. And it doesn't hurt that I get to wear a pretty dress and show off my pretty hair come pageant night! In fact, it doesn't get any better than that.

Writing in my blog has become hard in the past couple of days (weeks) because I've been a mess, rushing from here to there, working on this and that, plans changing by the moment. I have so many things I want to share with y'all but they're all coming at me, I can hardly prioritize, straighten, separate, sort, and fold. And then when I don't write in my blog, my feelings and thoughts get even more muddled because they don't get reflected upon and then it gets even harder to write in my blog. It's just a big ol' sad downward spiral. I will attempt to climb up it.

First off, congrats to all my friends who recently got jobs! I'm so proud of y'alls and I knew you can do it. I do feel a little left in the dust but who doesn't. I just know I have to be patient and continue working hard and hopefully, something great fantastic sublime perfect will come along. Until then, I have some projects keeping me preoccupied.

A big one is...I am in a beauty pageant.

Some friends already know about this but this is my big official announcement, I guess. I'm actually really excited about this pageant, it being the first one I actually wanted to do and wasn't entirely forced into it by my parents and all.

I'm sleepy and I have nifty plans tomorrow so SLEEP TIME. Sorry this entry lacks depth, funny anecdotes or even purpose. Just needed to update. However, in honor of my announcement, the next few posts will all be about my upcoming beauty pageant. Then, you will get to know more about what I'm up to. And don't pretend you don't. You know you do. XOXO, JJ

To My Favorite Sister

They say that the longest relationship you will have with another human being in your life is the one with your sibling. I'm so glad I get to share mine with this girl.

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, MEI!

We are two peas in a pod, Jessica and I. We get along so well and enjoy each other's company so much some friends think we're weird.

"I can't stand my brother. You actually like love your sister? Weird."

Yea, it's weird but then again, so are we.

I adore my sister's awkward sense of humor, her flair for the dramatics (she is a theatre major, you know), her sunbeam of a smile, her tendency to make you feel guilty for anything you do, and most of all, her exceedingly large heart. She always cries when our family parts ways at the airport, she remembers little details like what kind of perfume I like, she always makes the extra effort for those she cares about and out of the two of us, she is definitely the better sister.

When I have good news, bad news, any news, she is always the first one I try to call. I've mourned over broken hearts with her, giggled about ridiculous situations, solicited advice, and can even sit in silence just observing how utterly cool this girl is.

See, so cool, right?

We have our differences; she can't stand it when I try to introduce her to "the best book ever" or "the song that will change your life!" but she tolerates my overall dorkiness and even tries to give me advice on how to pick up boys. (Dude, girl is a pro with the men.)

That's her modeling in a magazine!

Jessica, I can't wait until you become an international superstar, dazzling the world with your charm and beauty. Then, you can play me in a movie about my extraordinary life and we will both live happily ever after...with each other. We really probably would have to because nobody else will ever get me like you do and tolerate me like you can. Love you to death, little sis. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. Remember, when you become a movie star, I get first dibs as your personal assistant!

The superlative is my best friend. Why say, "you are a good friend" when you can say, "you are the best friend EVER!" or, "I didn't like that cookie" when you can say, "that was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted in my life EVER" or, "I love you" when you can say, "I love you to death...EVER"?

But believe when I say I am not exaggerating this next sentence.

I just came back from the worst interview of my life EVER.

She is a prominent employer for a big-time system. She is a rule-breaker, ball buster, boundary crosser. Maybe I was a little intimated today? I never really get that nervous from interviews but today I was quite jittery. Somehow, I got it into my head that I wasn't qualified enough for the position and the rest of my answers came out sounding that way. The interview started off pretty well but when I looked over at her while I was talking, each time, she would have this not amused face on. So I started to get more nervous and when I get nervous, I crack jokes to ease the tension.

That did not help.

She still looked unamused so I soldiered on, saying things that as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to snatch back.

In the end, I walked away feeling like my previous work experience made me unqualified, fluffy and too soft for the position. It would not have been the case if I had been wiser with my answers, highlighting traits that would help with the position but I felt like I just sounded like I was explaining all the reasons why I actually wouldn't be a good fit, which Job Hunting 101 (yes, I'm still taking that prereq) has taught us you never should do.

Nothing really dramatic happened at the interview, there were no tears shed, F-bombs accidentally dropped, or punches thrown. I just walked away with this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, thinking, "that person that was in there is not who I am, that was not the best way I can present myself."

I wanted to go home, dig a hole in my couch and crawl in there with a bowl of Helen's mac & cheese in hand but I decided life is too short to wallow. Move on. So things didn't go your way. Get over it.

Instead I did some writing, read over what I wrote, and smiled to myself, thinking,"I enjoyed that."

I believe that writing just may be the best medicine EVER.

*Edit: Never mind, I just ate a slice of peach pie. That was the best medicine EVER.

It is 8:10 AM right now and after a mere 1-2 hours of sleep thanks to SOMEONE, I am sitting in a hospital room, ready to spend the next 12 hours here.

It is not as bad as it sounds. I'm okay; no broken bones, pains, cuts, injuries, illnesses.

I am actually working! Not as a nurse, doctor, hospital security guard or janitor but as a babysitter.

The life of a FUnemployed freelancer has taken me here this Thanksgiving weekend; caring for a sick baby. Before you feel sorry for me and wish I could be at home with my family or chilling with friends, let me tell you why I am so thankful to be here.

1) I am thankful to be working and getting paid (quite a bit) at a time when I'm starting to need money. God provides.

2) I am thankful to have this quiet time (the baby sleeps a lot) to work on random things.

3) I am thankful the baby I am taking care of just happens to be one of the most adorable toddlers I have ever laid eyes on. Denim blue peepers, ruddy cheeks, soft blonde wisps of hair. He makes it easy.

4) I am thankful the baby I am taking care of also just happens to be one of the most easygoing tykes.

5) I am thankful the night babysitter barely speaks any English. She's letting me "practique mi espanol!"

6) I am thankful my parents are away this Thanksgiving break. It gives me time to miss them and them a chance to spend some time relaxing and playing in China.

7) I am thankful I am going to Hong Kong for the holidays! Time to reboot the travel blog and rejuvenate my self creativity and job searching energy.

8) I am thankful for YOU as always, for reading. This blog has been one of the best investments of my time this year. I hope I will continue to make it better, become a stronger writer, and inspire, challenge and entertain you with my words. (Technically not my words because words should belong to us all but the way I place it and the words I choose make it mine, I guess? Oh, you know what I mean)

9) I am thankful for Him. Dude, He died on the cross for our sins. That's love, that's love.

Unforgettable 2009

KoreAm Journal threw a classy shindig by the name of Unforgettable last night. It was a star-studded gala held at the historic Park Plaza Hotel in downtown LA.

The ballroom was exquisitely decorated under the guidance of the ultra-fab event coordinator, Joyce and guests were treated to an amazing meal provided by Lawry's. I have been having a hard time cooking for myself at home that I wolfed my entire plate of spinning salad, prime rib cut, creamed spinach, corn, mashed potatoes and gravy and yorkshire pudding. My entire table clapped for me. I felt embarrassed but proud. (Ma, if you're reading this, I'm back to eating spinach and salmon fillets!)

I was brimming with anticipation to watch the entire show, so excited because I actually wrote the script for the show (with editing help from the ever-eloquent Julie) Words that I wrote, sentences that came out of my brain, ideas that I conjured up, were going to be uttered by hotshots like Sandra Oh, Daniel Henney and Joy Osmanski.

I think they did a pretty fine job interpreting it, don't you think?

Funnygal host Amy Anderson is so grateful for Unforgettable's sponsors that she sang a song for them. Okay, so it's to the tune of Sixpence None The Richer's Kiss Me. I'm not a musician, so sue me.

For your sing-along pleasure, below are the lyrics:

Thank you, thank you Park Plaza Hotel

For this, this big and lovely room

Where we, we can eat our ribs

Given to us by Lawry’s, where’s the bib?

Oh, thank you, Willow Hotel and Tiger Asia

So do, so do you Verizon Wireless

Can you hear me now

Premier Plastic Surgery and Ocean Radiation Oncology

We thank you

Time Warner, Kamsahamnida and SeAh Steel

Also, Sans Souci, Intertrend

K-T-A-N channel, Net Kal

Can’t skip Radio Seoul and Korea Times, oh

Oh thank you, to all our sponsors tonight

We couldn’t have asked for any more.

I lied, yes we can

Ten Communications, La Premiere, and Kollaboration

We thank you

There’s one more, group that’s really special

And that’s the, alcoholic beverage group

You know you love them too

So dear Johnnie Walker, lovely Jinro and delicious Hite

We thank you

We thank you

[seems like she’s done with the song, then strums up again]

wait there’s more

[strum guitar]

like Pan Com

[strum guitar]

or TVK24

[strum guitar]

KOTRA

[strum guitar]

IW Group

[strum guitar]

Waking up Media

[PAUSE so it seems like she’s really ending the song, but strums again]

and UNI Insurance

[strum guitar]

Insurance for you and I

[strum guitar]

And Future International

Wilshire Bank

[strum guitar]

and ABC Disney

[strum guitar]

and J.P. Morgan

[strum guitar]

and Wilshire Dental

[strum guitar]

And Kanye West

[strum guitar]

should get up here

[strum guitar]

and stop me nooooooooooooow

Sandra Oh teaches Daniel Henney a thing or two about being a television doctor.

Justin Chon is "Just Like Us!"

CS Lee wants to wrestle Daniel Dae Kim.

The show also featured beautiful performances by Priscilla Ahn, Lena Park and the hottest b-boys ever, Last 4 One.

As if the evening wasn't enough of a blast, there was a pretty sweet (if cold) after-party where I got to reunite with old friends.

And make new ones.

And shamelessly ask celebs to take pictures with me.

Near the end of the night, I chatted with Sandra Oh for a little bit. After I subtly (of course) mentioned I had written the script for the show, she told me that she thought it was the best Unforgettable script she had heard in the past 6 years.

"I usually have to edit the hell out of these things but you made it work," she told me.

Sure, she may have just been polite and was trying to make me happy but dude, the words came out of her mouth! I don't care if she was drunk, lying or crazy when she said it, she said it! Sandra Oh, one of my most admired and respected acting idols, said I made it work!

And that is truly unforgettable.

*Edit: Oh yea, and I also worked as red carpet interviewer. Check out what I got the celebs to say here.
*Edit Edit: We also ran into Rex Lee from "Entourage" at Hodori after the after-party. I'm so grateful he's not freaked out of his mind by my deathgrasp.

I Made a Vlog

Watch it in all its crappy editing, cheesy sound effects, awkward facial expressions glory.